WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
