my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
