I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
