i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
