is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
