Who wears a wallet chain?!
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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