I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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