my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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