I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
