i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
