Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
