Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
