Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize