I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize