OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
