On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
