love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
