This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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