ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I party with great urgency now.
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