Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
