1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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