Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
