Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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