Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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