I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
she peed on how many people?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Randomize
