We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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