How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
