Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
