you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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