why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
