Pants 0. Shit 1.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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