margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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