just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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