I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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