im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You pole danced in your parka.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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