A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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