be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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