I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
