You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
