Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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