normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
my sisters under your porch take her home
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
