It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
