Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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