I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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