Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
