she was so not down for the gang bang
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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