the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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