it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
