...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Holy shit dude........stairs
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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