party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I wear drunk well.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
