How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
