She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
