Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
