Plan B is the new Plan A
he was CRYING into my vagina
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
