And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
farters have to be the big spoon...
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
