Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
