is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
