Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
