Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
im calling her cock vulture from now on
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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