i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
