i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
