I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
