"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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