How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
