I molested 6 butterflies tonight
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
there was a trapeze. enough said
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
