there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
