Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize