it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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