The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
