He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
