his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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