what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
