Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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