he shaved USA in his pubs
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
