so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
