its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
