My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You're like the curious george of whores
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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