well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I understand Curling. That high.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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